A (Partial) Suspension of Belief- A Post by my Miss

This is a writing of self-reflection by my Miss about a recent accomplishment of ours. I think it is valuable for all to see her point of view, especially in this instance.

I have had a long journey through rope. With several starts and stops over the years, I finally made the decision when I moved to OK to find a rope bottom and explore rope again. After working with my rope bottom, it very quickly became apparent that our connection was much deeper than just rope, and we started a dynamic.

Through that process, I came up hard against some of my own insecurities, both as a person in a relationship as well as a Dominant. Questioning myself and if I could do it long term, if I was “good enough” or if I would screw it up like I had in previous attempts at dynamics. It came to a head at a rope night, when all those insecurities came rushing in when I got confused in the middle of a tie, and my brain spiraled through some pretty intense emotions. I decided I needed to work on myself first, and took a step back from rope.

In deconstructing why it happened after the fact, I learned that for me rope represents something much deeper than tying. It is something that requires skill and when I am topping, I am directly responsible not just for my own safety but will literally have someone else’s life in my control. Messing that up can cause long term consequences, and my reaction was rooted in my own insecurities regarding being a “safe person” to be in a relationship with.