Question 8 for Deepening a Dynamic: Surrender

“When you imagine surrender, what do you see?”

https://fetlife.com/Vampyre/posts/12119957

If I close my eyes and think of surrender, what I see isn’t easy.

There are some submissives that say that they want some to earn their submission and what they mean is the want to be taken, to be forced. They want take down play or rough body work. They want someone to physically force them to their knees or otherwise be so strong with them they can’t resist. They toss around the title of brat or SAM, but what they usually are is disrespectful or so out of touch with themselves they are incapable to identifying what submission means to them, much less making room for it or asking for it.

I struggle to use my words. I get caught up in fear or anxiety, in the things that I have learned from other people, shit Doms that wouldn’t know surrender and honest communication when it slapped them in the face. It’s hard for me to ask for the things I need and want, even when I need and want them so badly that I feel unable to move toward anything else. All the gears grind to a halt, and I find myself frozen. I’m not withholding what the other person wants on purpose. It’s more like all of anxiety pools like ichor around me feet and I am glued, unable to move forward in any direction, unable to go back as well.

So, when I think about surrender, I think about letting go of all of that. I think of being released from the glue of thought, of anxiety, of…