Sexual Health, Stigmas, and BDSM

There is a stigma in our society about sexually transmitted infections. Even within the BDSM community, the wider non-monogamy community, there are judgements that keep the shame alive. It appears in a lack of education for all ages, the way that dating profiles are worded, the fear in communication that occurs in all settings. Even in a community where sex is encouraged, becomes a focus, the amount of judgement that I have personally witnessed is shocking.

I am a polyamorous, kinky, pansexual, and sex positive woman. I consider myself well educated, often taking classes and courses on all the different aspects of sex. I am in the process of being certified to teach sex-ed classes through planned parenthood, who offer sex positive, honest, inclusive instruction on educating others around me.

In the 17 years I have had inside the community, the level of inaccurate information I have seen given to others is shocking. I know that the problem for this begins with the way we are taught about sex as children, the woefully inadequate education we are given in schools, and the societal restrictions we deal with as adults. We are often shamed for asking questions about sex from childhood. Adults give euphemisms for body parts like “cookie,” “winky,” “jay-jay,” and “pee-pee” instead of giving children the proper words for their body parts. Teenagers are still often shunned for masturbating, and young girls are not well educated about their menstrual cycle.