Sign on the Dotted Line: An Essay About Contracts

On June 14th of this year, a journal question was sent to me about contracts. I was supposed to write on whether or not a BDSM contract was a must-have. When the question was initially posed, my thoughts were divided, and I argued both sides. I now see that I was discussing the pros and cons of having a contract in a written form (that happens for me often).

These were my pro arguments:

1. I like that it has the potential to outline expectations of both the dominant and the submissive. 2. I think that it can be structured for an individual relationship, tailor to fit. If a couple wants it to be extremely strict, with as little wiggle room as possible, then they can write it that way. If you want generalized guidelines, that’s okay too. 3. It provides a way to show proof of the agreements about the relationship. I don’t mean this for legal purposes so much, as most states won’t consider it if things were to go to court. Rather, in times of conflict, both sides can look to their contract and see how they decided to come together, what rules were made, and how things could be handled.

On a more personal level, I like the outline of rules and boundaries, so that I have guidelines to guide my path as a submissive. I also like the idea of having a structure for goals that I think can be written in, along with a time frame to revisit the contract. I think it could be smart to revisit often at first, and as comfort is achieved, possibly set that meeting time out further. I believe…