The Why of My Rope

You can find hundreds of articles and websites about playing with rope. Youtube how-to guides. Books that detail every step, each knot, with pretty, thin female models in black leotards. Some resources may give you pretty standard safety regulations: a paragraph about consent, a line about keeping safety scissors next to you. If you get an exceptional resource, there will be a bit about where you should avoid putting pressure, different types of rope, and how to tie for restriction vs beauty.

I’ve watched many videos online about rope. I’ve even tried some basic ties out on myself or a willing partner. I would watch a few steps, tie a little, watch a few steps… I wanted there to be a basic formula I could follow and have a result that was satisfactory. All of that was at the start of my rope journey, before I learned that topping in that manner wasn’t of interest to me.

Bottoming for rope, however, is something that interests me very much. Coming to understand the way rope makes me feel every. Single. Time. has prompted a journey that has grown a beautiful power exchange. It has also led to self-exploration about the why behind the what- Why does rope specifically make me feel this way? Why is the formulaic method of learning to tie simply not enough? Why is it important to stretch and to understand my body’s reaction when I’m being tied instead of being completely passive and floating along on the river of rope space?

This past Friday, Miss and I attended a three hour rope intensive with Mango, a rigger who has studied and…