Weekly Deep Dive: Consent Violations and Community Accountability

I recently posted a writing about community accountability and how I believe that people who put themselves in positions of leadership in our community have a responsibility to both behave at a higher standard AND to help keep others safe by enforcing accountability with the communities they serve. That post was 100% triggered by recent events in the community I am apart of, and this post contains further opinions of the sort. So, if you’re here for kink instruction or smut, this post isn’t for you.

Let’s start with the basics. What does it mean to violate someone’s consent?

A consent violation occurs when someone believes their boundaries have been crossed, resulting in harm. This includes acts that are unintentionally damaging. Consent must be fully informed- both sides must be fully aware of what they are consenting to. It cannot be given under coercion, force, or threat. It must be maintained and can be withdrawn at any time. Individuals who are incapacitated in some way (asleep, unconscious, intoxicated, in subspace, or having age regressed) cannot give consent.

If someone’s permission to engage in an activity was not obtained or was withdrawn, that is a consent violation. If you don’t practice clear, open communication BEFORE play starts, that is a consent violation. If you negotiate up in the middle of a scene, once someone’s head space has already been altered, that is a consent violation. Only the individual who experienced the harm within…